The Concept of "Green" Only Applies to Money

"Green is the prime color of the world, and that from which its loveliness arises."

Pedro Calderon de la Barca

About a year ago, the Organization decided to jump on the "green movement" bandwagon and launched a campaign directly linking what we do as a health charity to environmentally-sound living. I, being the naïve and impressionable young mind that I was, was ecstatic. While the mission of the Organization was important, I felt that as a whole body, our scope had become both myopic and too broad, and bringing it back to something everyone was talking about - and more importantly - getting involved with, was essential. Not only that, but I've been pretty damn "green" my whole life. You don't have ex-hippies for parents and not know the three Rs from day one. Seriously. Some folks were born with a silver spoon in their mouths, I was born playing in a compost heap.

I am quite sure this happens all the time and in a million different kinds of businesses of varying moral superiority, but when the Organization launched our green campaign, it was half-baked to say the least. They had a title for this campaign, a snazzy catch-phrase, a URL and little else.

I am a copywriter. I am a marketer. I am the office wordsmith (whose words are routinely ripped to shreds, injected with a healthy dose of dumbassery, and regurgitated to the public, but that is a post for another day). So it fell to me, my friend Marc who is an overworked, extremely talented graphic designer, web guru, and computer genius, and our boss, Janice, to really hammer out the details of this campaign. I was excited! I was energized! I was enthused! (I like alliteration, okay?) FINALLY, I could be a part of a project that was close to my heart, that I already knew lots about, and that I felt could actually and tangibly affect positive change in the world by working directly with people in the community.

Oh reality, you are such a prankster.

The details of what I actually could say about this program to help get it underway took a while to filter down from the top. What I couldn't say about the program? Well, I couldn't use the word "green" for one. They felt it sounded too militant and that we didn't want to look like Greenpeace. Yeah, you read that right. Fucking Greenpeace! What planet - and decade - were these people from? That was the actual explanation I was given for not using the word "green." Also, when directed to email our constituents with tips for becoming more environmentally friendly, my suggestions had to be reviewed after one apparently offensive suggestion passed under the nose of our CEO. The suggestion? Stop eating red meat one day a week. Honestly, horrifically offensive, I know. APPALLING. There are several more examples of this fuckery, but they are inconsequential once you read what else was about to happen.

A short while later, our finances in turmoil, a call came down from Up Top for we peons to put forth "money saving" suggestions as well as ways to "green" (my term) the Organization. Again, I was thrilled. Even after my red meat defeat, I knew this was one way I could a) improve the organization and b) get our antiquated ideals into the 21st Century. I wrote. And wrote. And wrote some more. I wrote at least five pages of detailed, creative, and entirely employable suggestions on how to make the Organization more efficient, cut costs, and allow us to practice what we preach. I submitted them for consideration and received a polite thank you. Sure, some suggestions were a bit out of the ol' box, as they say, but progress was never made any other way. I thought giving a paper-use limit would not only encourage people to think before they hit the "print" button, but it would save paper and ultimately money. I thought asking people to ONLY come into the building during office hours (unless absolutely necessary) was a great way to cut down energy consumption, even in a limited capacity. I didn't think asking people to turn out the lights when they left a room was too odd, though my boss did - and still does - laugh that I turn out my office light even when I'll be gone for 5 minutes. Clearly, she doesn't know my father. But I digress.

My friend Cara submitted suggestions, as did Marc and a few others. Liz and our co-worker Denise lived near one another and wanted to carpool. Being a mother, Denise thought that if she arranged her schedule around Liz's and her daughter's, she could not only save on gas but help build our green image. Look! The Organization has a carpool initiative! Great! You know, something like that.

Well, uh, not so much. Thinking about it now, I see that the entire movement, and the so-called "cost-cutting" efforts were, more or less, probably just a way for management to cover their asses. Not only were precisely ZERO of our collective suggestions employed, but our Organization continues to be wasteful, environmentally unfriendly, and increasingly resource-greedy (at least from where I'm sitting). I later learned that much of what helped spur on the initial green campaign was a grant and the sweet smell of donor dollars. We even hoodwinked a few local and very successful "green" businesses into giving us money and sponsoring our events. We are, to the best of my knowledge, still stringing them along.

In fact, I had the dubious task of creating an environmental award for members of the community whose efforts have improved health, as well. (I was assigned this half-baked idea and was charged with coming up with not only the award's name, description, and criteria for receipt of said award, but I had to promote it. Only the promotion of such a thing is actually in my job description, just an fyi.) This award, presented at one of our very expensive (roughly $200 a ticket) and classy balls, was supposed to showcase individuals and businesses with foresight and initiative. Or so I thought. When it came time to sort out nominees and recipients, one girl was from an urban, lower class household while her competitor was white, upper middle-class, and had a family with money.

When hashing over who should receive the award, my boss uttered the words, "Well, I don't even know if she would have anything to wear to the event. And we know her family wouldn't ever buy more than one extra ticket, never mind a whole table."

I think that statement alone is responsible for the TMJ symptoms I'm experiencing. It was, now that I think about it, nice of them to involve me in the selection process, even if it was clear that my opinion was never going to be considered. After all, one must maintain appearances at all costs.

But let's not forget, jade is a shade of green.

Photo by Matthew Fang via Flickr Creative Commons.